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02 February 2008 @ 03:47 pm
The Office - Whatta Way to Work!  
So, just yesterday I was ranting to Aid about how weary I'm becoming of my job, especially since it's in an office kind of setting, and to worsen it, the government kind, no matter how in-directly we're working with them. Then she suggested I watched The Office and to be more like Michael. Either they'd love me or fire me, but at least I'd be able to bear with it and that just made me curious. I had never seen The Office, though often heard of it, and at the time when it began, just the mere idea of an office turned me away, but now that I'm working in one, I said, what the hell. So I started looking up quotes, specifically for Michael Scott's and omg...I so totally am him! Ha, that was just too funny. Of course a little downgraded 'cause I'm certainly not the boss (yet), but the humor and crazy outbursts is there alright. Though after reading quotes and watching a couple of vids on youtube, I'd my favorites are Michael, Dwight and especially Jim...heh.

So of course, I just have to celebrate this new found love...'tis so exciting! And might I add home much love Wikiquote? Seriously, it's like luff in a webpage! ^_~

Here we go!


Diversity Day [1.2]
Jim: (after Dwight hangs up on the person Jim is talking to) Thanks Dwight.
Dwight: Retaliation. Tit for tit.
Jim: That is not the expression
Dwight: Well it should be.

Pam: [during a role-playing exercise] Okay, if I have to do this, based on stereotypes that are totally untrue, that I do not agree with, you would maybe..not be a very good driver.
Dwight:[role playing as an Asian] Aw, man! Am I a woman?

Michael: [after role-playing exercise] You'll notice I didn't have anybody being Arab. I thought that would be too explosive...no pun intended. But I just thought, 'too soon' for Arabs. Maybe next year. The ball's in their court.

Michael: Why don't we just defer to Mr.??
Mr. Brown: Mr. Brown.
Michael: (laughs) Oh! Okay first test, I will not call you that.
Mr. Brown: Well it's my name, it's not a test.

Sexal Harrassment [2.2]
Michael: Attention everyone, hello! Yes, I just want you to know that this is not my decision but from here on out, we can no longer be friends. And when we talk about things here [the office], we must only discuss work associated things. And uh, you can consider this my retirement from comedy. And in the future if I want to say something funny, or witty, or do an impression I will no longer, ever, do any of those things.
Jim: Does that include "That's what she said?"
Michael: Mmm hmm, yes.
Jim: Wow. That is really hard. [Michael almost says it] You really think you can go all day long? [Michael nearly bursts trying not to say it] Well, you always left me satisfied and smiling.
Michael: That's what she said!

Michael: When I said that I was king of forwards, you got to understand that I don't come up with this stuff. I just forward it along. You wouldn't arrest a guy who was just passing drugs from one guy to another.

Dwight: You said we could come to you if we had any questions. (Pause) Where is the clitoris? On a website it says "At the crest of the labia." What does that mean? (Pause) What does the female vagina look like?
Toby: Technically, I am in Human Resources, and Dwight was asking me about human anatomy. Um... I'm just sad the public school system failed him so badly.

The Fire [2.4]
Michael: Yes, I was the first one out. And yes, I’ve heard "women and children first". But, we do not employ children. We are not a sweatshop, thankfully. And women are equal in the workplace by law. So if I let them out first, I have a lawsuit on my hands.

Dwight: I hope the war goes on forever and Ryan gets drafted. I'm sorry, only part of me meant that...he'd probably end up a hero there anyway.

The Fight [2.6]
Kelly: [practicing a karate move Dwight taught her] HI YAH! Hey that was pretty close!
Dwight: Good, now let me take you from behind.
Kelly: WHAT?!

Michael: Pam, I hate to break this to you, but Dwight can't stop you from being mugged. He's just not tough enough.
Pam: He's a purple belt, that's really high.
Michael: Oh God, I could beat up Dwight, that's ridiculous. I can murder him.

Michael: C'mon, hit me...
Jim: I can't. I just got a manicure.
Michael: Oh, queer! [looks at camera] ...eye. Queer eye! Good show, important show.
Jim: Just have Dwight punch you.
Michael: Well, that would be kind of worthless because I know a ton of 14-year-old girls who could kick his ass.
Jim: You know a ton of 14-year-old girls?
Dwight: What belt are they?

Michael: Would I rather be feared or loved? Umm...easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.

Booze Cruise [2.11]
Captain Jack: I need a volunteer to come up and hold my stick.
Dwight: Me me me!
Captain Jack: Ah. Usually it's a woman.
Dwight: I'm stronger.

Dwight: Seasick? Captain Jack says you should look at the moon.
Michael: Captain Jack's a fart face.

Jim: What happened to you?
Michael: Captain Jack has a problem with authority.
Jim: Oh, right, 'cause you announced that his ship was sinking.
Michael: He just totally lost it. If you ask me he caused the panic.

Jim: To tell you the truth, I used to have a big thing for Pam. So...
Michael: Really. You're kidding me. You and Pam? Wow. I would have never put you two together... did you really... you really hid it well. God. I usually have a radar for stuff like that. [sighs]

The Injury [2.12]
Michael: Dwight, what's your middle name?
Dwight: [Looking dazed] Danger.
Michael: Something with a 'K'.
Jim: It's Kurt. Wow, I'm so sad I know that.

Michael: Pam, will you rub butter on my foot?
Pam: No.
Michael: Please? I have Country Crock.

Michael: Let me ask you something. How long does it take you to do something simple? Everyday. Like brushing your teeth in the morning.
Billy: [in a wheelchair] I dunno. Like thirty seconds.
Michael: Oh my God. That's three times as long as it takes me.

Michael: [after he fell off the toilet] Get Ryan! He needs to lift me, and he needs to clean me up a bit...bring a wet towel.
Toby: Ryan is [Ryan drags his finger across his throat] ...dead.

Dwight: Where are we going?
Jim: [lying to get Dwight to the hospital] Chuck E. Cheese.
Michael: Chuck E. Cheese? Oh, I'm so sick of Chuck E. Cheese.
Jim: We're going to the hospital, Michael.
Michael: I know, I'm just saying.

Michael:I enjoy having breakfast in bed. I like waking up to the smell of bacon, sue me, and since I don't have a butler I have to do it myself. So, most nights before I go to bed, I will lay six strips of bacon out on my George Foreman Grill, then I go to sleep. When I wake up, I plug in the grill. I go back to sleep again, then I wake up to the smell of crackling bacon. It is delicious, it's good for me, it's a perfect way to start the day. Today I got up, I stepped onto the grill (shows burnt foot wrapped in bubble wrap) and it clamped down on my foot. That's it, I don't see what's so hard to believe about that.

(Jim is popping the bubble wrap Michael is using as a cast):
Michael: Please stop popping my cast!

Jim: I wanna clamp Michael's face in a George Foreman grill.

Doctor: Does the area look red and swollen?
Dwight: That's what she said.
Michael: That's my joke—dammit, Dwight!


Yeah, and now lets look at a couple of youtube vids of The Office to complete the session! Mwhaahahahaaa!







I just love the Jim/Dwight dynamic...it's too funny!! LOL

Okay, I'm done for the day, and aren't you happy, ^_~

*salutes*
and Jocus has left the building!
 
 
Current Location: On zee couch
Current Mood: hyperhyper
Current Music: Dirty Little Secret - Thievery Corporation
 
 
 
You set on me, but you are not the sun.frenziified on September 7th, 2008 03:08 am (UTC)
Ahhh, The Office is my FAVORITE show! I love Jim... I'm obsessed. He's right up there with Jared and Jensen. *girly squeal*